Lori Writes Funny Lori Duff Writes

I’m Too Old for Overtime March 1, 2015

I watched the Duke Blue Devil/UNC Tar Heel college basketball game the other night.  As a Duke alum, I’m pretty sure I signed something upon graduation saying that they could take away my diploma if I didn’t watch this game.  Which is fair enough, because I would never not watch it on purpose.

Due to the magic of DVRs and season passes, I don’t ever watch anything when it is actually on, and I have no idea what channel most things are aired on or what number goes with what channel.  I know we get ESPN, for example, but I could not tell you what channel ESPN is.  My DVR knows, and that’s all I need to know.  I’m spoiled out of my mind, and don’t ever watch commercials.

So, when my family made an emergency Wal-Mart run at 8:00 pm to replace a leaking coffee maker, I was unconcerned that we would be back in time for the 9 o’clock tip off.  The DVR would catch it, and I could fast forward through commercials and the blahblah of half time, and watch everything in relatively real time with no problem.  We got home at 9:30, I cued up the game, and settled in to watch in the rocker recliner.

Which is another ‘used to’ that I don’t do.  I used to be unable to sit during exciting ball games, much less recline leisurely.  I would pace around the room, or even drop to my knees in front of the television, certain that the great waves of sincere caring would affect the trajectory of the ball. I still believe I can care enough to affect an orange piece of rubber several hundred miles away from me that got flung a half hour before I’m actually seeing it, but now I believe I can do it while sitting.  I also throw my hands into the air when the mood strikes.  In this way the players know I am on their side.

The La-Z-Boy, however, may be another story.  I felt like I had the wrong momentum  Reclined with my feet up (the only way I can exist without falling over after 10:00 pm) all the up and down excitement of an exciting game was first a full body 90 degree tilt instead of a mere up and down on the Y axis.  It was like doing crunches.  I’m supposed to be watching sports.  Not working up a sweat.

This was quite a game.  It went into overtime.  Having learned the DVR lesson years ago, I always set it to record for extra time in a sporting event.  You don’t want to invest two emotional hours in a game to not see the last few moments which determine the winner.

Let me first say this: I am too old for overtime.  It was after 11:00 pm on a work night and my heart was pumping.  I had to get up to be at an 8:30 meeting.  I was tired from the day and exhausted from the game.  I get how the players manage it – they are teenagers, for the most part, and in hella good shape.  The coaches?  Not a clue.  I guess they aren’t soft and squishy and nine to fivey like us desk jockeys.  I’m also guessing they can go home and sleep until late morning.

Anyway, overtime was just as exciting as the game itself.  Several lead changes, steals, dunks, foul troubles, rebounds, and with 54 seconds left, you still had no idea who was going to win.  Of course, I was not to find out easily.  With 54 seconds left, the extra time I had allowed for on the DVR ended, and in a sudden blink I was watching a re-run of Full House on Nickelodeon.

I went into panic mode.  I hit “guide” on the remote and scrolled through the thousand or so channels we have trying to find ESPN.  I couldn’t find it or the category of sports channels.  It was like they blinked out of existence and all turned into local news and horrible re-runs and cooking shows.  I went back to where the game was recorded, and looked at the number of the channel.  I punched in the numbers of the channel and got…the local news. Not even the sports.

Eventually, I read the play by play on Twitter found a highlight reel online which showed me what I missed.  But it wasn’t the same.  The emotional roller coaster exhausted me.  The whole next day I was out of whack because I stayed up past my bedtime doing something exciting.

There was a period in my life – most notably when I was at Duke and at the actual games live screaming my head of and jumping around for hours at a time like a lunatic – when I said things like, “Let’s not go until 11 – nothing gets started until then” and had the deep sincere belief that anything more than three hours was a full night’s sleep.

Not now.  Nope.  Less than 7 hours and I’m useless.  I turn into a pumpkin somewhere around 9:45 most evenings.  I’m too old for overtime.  I guess if I want to keep my college degree, I’m going to have to move to the west coast so the late games start at 6:00.

Did you like this?  Do you want Lori in your Inbox?  Sign up below for weekly emails.

I’m Too Old for Overtime

6 Comments

  1. Mary Thornburg

    Lori B. Duff, I just had a tooth extracted from my lower jaw, the left side of my face hurts and looks like the left side of a chipmunk’s face, I am existing on instant oatmeal and chicken noodle soup, and have discovered that there are hardly any taste buds on the right side of my tongue. Still you have just made me laugh out loud, hard. When it comes time for my funeral, I want someone to read your latest blog post out loud in the church so science can find out if it’s possible for a corpse to chuckle.

    Reply

    • Lori Duff

      Mwah! I hope you feel better soon! 🙂

      Reply

  2. Patricia Dusenbury

    OMG, you made me think I’d missed the game. And you didn’t say who eventually won. Heart pounding, I went to goDuke.com, only to learn its not for two more days. Really, Lori. If you were writing about the game back in whenever, why didn’t you say so? I’m not only too old for overtime, I’m also too old for such stress.

    Reply

    • Lori Duff

      Ha! It was about the game a couple of weeks ago. I promise to be more specific next time. I don’t want be responsible for anyone’s heart attacks. 🙂

      Reply

  3. Linda Schaub

    Wow Lori – I was too old for overtime years ago. I haven’t watched T.V. in eons and I only get my sports by osmosis (i.e. I hear the radio reports and my boss can call me after being gone all day and say what’s the news headlines re: local/national/sports and I’ll rattle off sports tidbits that I’ve absorbed throughout the day and fill him in). I identified with recording programs and missing the end though. Happened one time when two wonderful Sunday night movies were on (probably during sweeps month). One was on CBS, and you had to account for Sunday night football, then 60 Minutes and whatever followed. I allowed for 1 1/2 hours of extra recording time – wasn’t enough. Cut the tail end of the movie off – and, we missed who survived the plane crash in the wooded area. Oops. After that I always used a 4-hour, if not a 6-hour tape. (I’ve never DVR’d something, nor used a DVD — such a dinosaur I am.)

    Reply

    • Lori Duff

      The advantage to VCR tapes is that these days you can get them cheap 🙂 There are some advantages to being a dinosaur.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

close

I’m Too Old for Overtime

6 Comments

  1. Mary Thornburg

    Lori B. Duff, I just had a tooth extracted from my lower jaw, the left side of my face hurts and looks like the left side of a chipmunk’s face, I am existing on instant oatmeal and chicken noodle soup, and have discovered that there are hardly any taste buds on the right side of my tongue. Still you have just made me laugh out loud, hard. When it comes time for my funeral, I want someone to read your latest blog post out loud in the church so science can find out if it’s possible for a corpse to chuckle.

    Reply

    • Lori Duff

      Mwah! I hope you feel better soon! 🙂

      Reply

  2. Patricia Dusenbury

    OMG, you made me think I’d missed the game. And you didn’t say who eventually won. Heart pounding, I went to goDuke.com, only to learn its not for two more days. Really, Lori. If you were writing about the game back in whenever, why didn’t you say so? I’m not only too old for overtime, I’m also too old for such stress.

    Reply

    • Lori Duff

      Ha! It was about the game a couple of weeks ago. I promise to be more specific next time. I don’t want be responsible for anyone’s heart attacks. 🙂

      Reply

  3. Linda Schaub

    Wow Lori – I was too old for overtime years ago. I haven’t watched T.V. in eons and I only get my sports by osmosis (i.e. I hear the radio reports and my boss can call me after being gone all day and say what’s the news headlines re: local/national/sports and I’ll rattle off sports tidbits that I’ve absorbed throughout the day and fill him in). I identified with recording programs and missing the end though. Happened one time when two wonderful Sunday night movies were on (probably during sweeps month). One was on CBS, and you had to account for Sunday night football, then 60 Minutes and whatever followed. I allowed for 1 1/2 hours of extra recording time – wasn’t enough. Cut the tail end of the movie off – and, we missed who survived the plane crash in the wooded area. Oops. After that I always used a 4-hour, if not a 6-hour tape. (I’ve never DVR’d something, nor used a DVD — such a dinosaur I am.)

    Reply

    • Lori Duff

      The advantage to VCR tapes is that these days you can get them cheap 🙂 There are some advantages to being a dinosaur.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Lori Duff

Lori B. Duff is an award-winning author who practices law on the side.  Her latest book, "If You Did What I Told You..." is set to be released in the Fall of 2019. You can follow her on Twitter at @LoriBDuff and on Facebook. For more blogs written by Lori, click here. For more information about Lori in general, click here. If you want Lori to do your writing for you, click here.

I’m Too Old for Overtime March 1, 2015

Contact


Search