Guardian Demons July 23, 2024
Nice is, well, nice, but sometimes it honestly doesn’t get the job done.
“Why don’t you sit down for a moment?”
“Why don’t you let me do that?”
“You’ve been working so hard! You should let someone else step in!”
These are all very kind things to say to someone[1] but they are unlikely to be effective. The person, oh, let’s call her Marlene, who is working to her own detriment, wants very hard to sit down, let you do whatever it is she is doing, and for someone else to take over, but she can’t just do that. She’s not completely convinced that anyone else will do the job if she steps away. She doesn’t want to put a burden on anyone else. And if you phrase these things like questions or suggestions, you give her an out. “No thanks,” is a polite response. “I’ve got it.” Because a good chunk of Marlene’s sense of self-worth is based on her ability to make you think she can balance the entire earth on her shoulders while juggling chainsaws and wearing roller skates.
She knows she’s human. She knows she’s about to drop. But she’s not sure you like anything about her other than her ability to get the job done, and if she doesn’t get it done, well, what’s her whole point?
Marlene doesn’t need a guardian angel. Guardian angels, or at least the kind we’re taught to believe in, are kindly beings bathed in white light, radiating goodness and love. They can make it all happen with a flick of the wrist like a fairy godparent. Guardian angels have never had an entire pot of hot coffee spill down the front of their dresses as they set up the reception for the school play. Guardian angels don’t have dirt and glitter glue under their fingernails.
No, what Marlene needs is a guardian demon.[2] The kind who doesn’t give a rip if it’s polite. The kind who will manhandle Marlene and bodily remove her from a committee meeting like private security taking a celebrity from a swarm of paparazzi. The kind who doesn’t mind getting in well-meaning other’s faces and saying, “Marlene will answer your questions after she’s had a good night’s rest. I don’t care if it’s just one question. It can wait.” The kind who will interrupt a sweet but wordy person telling a never-ending story[3] with a terse but firm, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but Marlene needs to be elsewhere right now, so I’m going to cut you off and remove her.”
I realize, as I write this, that it would be very easy to think that I’m the Marlene in this story and I’m just trying to deflect. Although I relate to Marlene, and could use a guardian demon of my own, since I find guardian angels to cloying and polite to be of any use, she’s actually a friend of mine. I watched her soldier on one day, refusing help, and thought, holy moly, that’s what people see when I do that. It was a real learning moment.
So now that I know what I need, who’s gonna give it to me?
[1] I say ‘someone’ as if that person could be anyone, but we all know who that person is. She’s always a woman, generally over forty, who is in charge of nearly every room she’s in. It doesn’t matter if she has pneumonia or a broken leg or fifty-seven balls in the air, she is getting it all done if it kills her. Which it just might.
[2] Or, if you prefer, a guardian Old Testament angel, the terrifying kind with many eyes and wings, that you can’t look at directly lest you burst into flames.
[3] Marlene is too nice to do this herself.
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Lori B. Duff is an award-winning author who practices law on the side. Her latest book, “If You Did What I Asked in the First Place” was awarded the Gold Medal for humor in the Foreword INDIES awards in 2019. You can follow her on Twitter at @LoriBDuff and on Facebook. For more blogs written by Lori, click here. For more information about Lori in general, click here. If you want Lori to do your writing for you, click here. If you want Lori to help you market your book, click here.
Guardian Demons
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