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Articles in category: Uncategorized

Blog Tour — Are You Still Kidding Me? September 21, 2018

One of the best parts about being a part of the Erma Nation, that is, being a part of the fabulous group of women (and the handful of brave, brave men) that descend upon Dayton, Ohio every two years is having the opportunity to meet fantastically talented, funny women who write books.  My friend Stacey…

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Mean Spirited Jerk Faces September 14, 2018

If you’ve been watching the news lately, or even been trying to avoid it, or occasionally taking a gander at Facebook or Twitter or your social media of choice, or at the very least been forced to overhear the conversation being held by the people in the booth next to you at Waffle House, you…

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The Perfect Pizza Slice

You Can Go Home Again August 3, 2018

I went home again. I got off the plane, and the smell hit me in the face with the force of a Mike Tyson punch. There was garlic there in large measure, and jet fuel – sure, it was an airport.  There was an overlay of stale B.O. and car exhaust, and a hint of…

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Pleasures of the Flesh July 20, 2018

Do you prefer physical pleasure or mental pleasure? Being in possession of a human-type body like I am, there is some routine maintenance that needs to be done.  Most of that maintenance is not particularly pleasant.  It can be invasive, uncomfortable, or downright painful.  Yet I persist, partly out of a desire to survive with…

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To Yap or Not to Yap. July 6, 2018

For reasons I do not care to get into right now (though trust me, everyone is fine now) I have spent a lot of time in hospital waiting rooms lately.  These are odd little microcosms of society that have not been studied sufficiently by trained sociologists.  Therefore, I took it upon myself to make some…

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Yes, I Think I’m Funny June 22, 2018

I Think I’m Funny I have this absolutely non-humorous, borderline boring, slightly academic theory on humor, which is that laughter is the pinnacle of mindfulness. That is, when you are laughing, you are entirely in the moment in which you are laughing, and completely unaware of physical and emotional pain or distress, or anything else…

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Ode to a Varsity Chili Dog May 25, 2018

If you find yourself heading to Atlanta and you post something on social media like, “Going to the ATL – where should I eat?”  9,999 out of 10,000 people who reply will tell you to go to the Varsity.  The Varsity is a fast food joint, I guess, in that it serves hamburgers and hot…

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Things You’ll Never Hear Me Say April 27, 2018

For years now, I’ve been writing these columns and you’ve been hearing a lot of things I’ve had to say.  I am not sure I will ever run out of rants.  My opinions have changed over time as my horizons have expanded and my viewpoints have matured.  I’ve found myself saying some things that I…

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Pollen Season and Yellow Snow April 14, 2018

In light of record high pollen counts and the glue that has become every bodily fluid I produce, I thought this article from 2016 was worth republishing. I have a superpower.  I can take ordinary grocery items, like lettuce and milk and Little Debbie Snack Cakes, and turn them into pounds and pounds of pollen-induced…

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Golden Anniversary and Advice March 30, 2018

On April 6, 2018, just a few days from when I am typing this, my parents will have been married for fifty years. Yup, their golden anniversary has arrived. There are a number of miracles at play here. My parents did not have a particularly romantic beginning, though if you know them, you won’t be…

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