Lori Duff Writes
Ode to Flannel Sheets “Beauty is truth, truth beauty,” And beauty occureth not without a good night’s sleep. Therefore without sleep, there is no truth, Only a jumble of undercaffeinated syllables. Percale will do, maybe even soothe on hot summer nights. But in the winter? The flannel sheets grab you, Hold fast to your…
“If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” Of course, I’m not going to get a superpower any time soon, but it’s an interesting question to contemplate. My first thought when presented with this question was that of all the superpowers held by all the superheroes I’ve witnessed, the thing I’d like the…
The biggest problem with cleaning your house beyond a swipe with a paper towel is that you realize the level of filth you’ve been living in. There was a stain on my carpet. The stain was annoying me because it was large enough to be seen from Mars. I found some carpet cleaner and an…
If you’ve been watching the news lately, or even been trying to avoid it, or occasionally taking a gander at Facebook or Twitter or your social media of choice, or at the very least been forced to overhear the conversation being held by the people in the booth next to you at Waffle House, you…
Do you prefer physical pleasure or mental pleasure? Being in possession of a human-type body like I am, there is some routine maintenance that needs to be done. Most of that maintenance is not particularly pleasant. It can be invasive, uncomfortable, or downright painful. Yet I persist, partly out of a desire to survive with…
For reasons I do not care to get into right now (though trust me, everyone is fine now) I have spent a lot of time in hospital waiting rooms lately. These are odd little microcosms of society that have not been studied sufficiently by trained sociologists. Therefore, I took it upon myself to make some…
I Think I’m Funny I have this absolutely non-humorous, borderline boring, slightly academic theory on humor, which is that laughter is the pinnacle of mindfulness. That is, when you are laughing, you are entirely in the moment in which you are laughing, and completely unaware of physical and emotional pain or distress, or anything else…
For years now, I’ve been writing these columns and you’ve been hearing a lot of things I’ve had to say. I am not sure I will ever run out of rants. My opinions have changed over time as my horizons have expanded and my viewpoints have matured. I’ve found myself saying some things that I…
In light of record high pollen counts and the glue that has become every bodily fluid I produce, I thought this article from 2016 was worth republishing. I have a superpower. I can take ordinary grocery items, like lettuce and milk and Little Debbie Snack Cakes, and turn them into pounds and pounds of pollen-induced…
This is what happens when I try to hold my book because of my Essential Tremor. As if I weren’t physically awkward enough, as if my weird, clunky walk weren’t enough, and my graceless inability to walk through a doorframe without hitting one side or another with my shoulders weren’t enough, I have been…