Lori Duff Writes

In 1675, Sir Isaac Newton said, “If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants.”  What this means is several things.  One, that by quoting people who have been dead for over three hundred years you don’t have to worry about copyright violations.  And two, if a certifiably inarguable genius like Isaac Newton admitted that he couldn’t get where he was without the contributions of those who came before him, then none of us regular idiots can possibly say we did anything all on our own.

And so, those of us who want to accomplish anything at all are members of groups, associations, clubs, councils and all variations thereon.  Even if what we want to accomplish is simply having friends.

Those memberships add up, let me tell you.  I don’t mean the cost of admission, though that, too, but the time they take for meetings, responding to emails, attending meetings, etc. 

All of which is an inexcusably long introduction to my point:

Ain’t nobody got time for ‘reply all’ or @everyone.  I think you should have to have a special test-based license to have the ability to use those functions. 

A legitimate use for reply all: “The meeting time has been changed from 3pm to 3:30pm.”

An illegitimate use for reply all: “I can’t open the attachment.”

A legitimate use for @everyone: “We’re having a webinar on this page tomorrow evening.”

An illegitimate use for @everyone: “This makes me so mad!”

I don’t know about you[1], but my phone makes a noise or a buzz or calls attention to itself somehow approximately once every three and a half seconds.  Some of those noises are to alert me of important things.  Most of those noises are to alert me of someone replying all “Got it” or @everyoneing “Look! A sale!”  As a result, the important things get lost in the sea of miscellany.  I don’t even hear the notifications anymore.  They are as much a part of the background as the hum of the refrigerator or the traffic noises from the street.

It is the height of hubris to assume that @everyone needs to be alerted RIGHT NOW about whatever it is you are saying.  It is, in my jaded opinion, virtue signaling, that everyone needs to read your “He’s in my thoughts and prayers” reply-all to a group-wide email that someone is in the hospital.  My inbox is cluttered enough without having to weed through two-hundred notices that someone I met twice is being prayed for.  Yes, I wish him well.  Yes, I’m praying for him, too.  Yes, I’m glad he’s on your list of good tidings.  But did I need a notification and an email about it?  Not so much.

Yes, I know.  I’ve reached the crusty crone bah-humbug stage of life.  I’ve earned it.  I got an email this morning asking me if I wanted a plaque to hang in my lobby commemorating the thirty years of service I’ve given to the community as a member of the bar.  Oh?  Do I want physical evidence reminding me of the fact that there are experienced lawyers out there who were born after I passed the bar exam?  No I do not. 

I’ve earned the right to be selective about who and what takes my time and attention.  Perhaps I’ll post that opinion on social media and @everyone so that @everyone will know.      

[1] That’s a lie.  I do know about you.  You are like me.  I’m not special. 

If you enjoyed this and want to read more like it, visit Lori on Twitter or on Facebook or read her award winning books.  You can order her novella, “Broken Things”, by clicking here.  The audiobook can be found on Audible or iTunes.  Look for her novel “Devil’s Defense” coming in November 2024 from She Writes Press.

Lori Duff

Lori B. Duff is an award-winning author who practices law on the side.  Her latest book, “If You Did What I Asked in the First Place” was awarded the Gold Medal for humor in the Foreword INDIES awards in 2019. You can follow her on Twitter at @LoriBDuff and on Facebook. For more blogs written by Lori, click here. For more information about Lori in general, click here. If you want Lori to do your writing for you, click here. If you want Lori to help you market your book, click here.