Lori Writes Funny Lori Duff Writes

Mac and Cheese (with a cherry on top) June 16, 2021

I went to my first in-person conference in almost two years and, I have to say, it was odd.  Many of the people there I had only ‘met’ via Zoom, and they looked a little strange in three-dimensional form.  A popular topic was “Holy moly!  Dress shoes!  I forgot!”  I suspect that the footwear industry…

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Abstract Pictures June 4, 2021

My daughter wanted some pictures of her and her bestie to put in a graduation card.  In theory, this was a simple task, since over the years there have been upwards of 83 million pictures of the two of them taken.  In reality, we could only find about three pictures that had been turned into…

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Blinking in the Sunlight May 21, 2021

There’s a scene in the beginning of Bambi where spring comes and all the animals wake up from hibernation.  There are lots of new babies, including Bambi himself.   h [I’ve always wanted to know why the night critters and the day critters were all up at the same time, and why there didn’t seem to…

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#TruthPunch May 7, 2021

My friend Michelle[1] posted a stumper on Twitter the other day.  She said, “I don’t get the double zero size. There is no such thing as double zero. Your zero can’t have extra zero in it. You can’t add zero to zero and increase the zeroness of zero.” It was one of those moments where…

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Facebook, My Frenemy April 23, 2021

The older I get, the more I hate social media.  That’s an unoriginal sentiment, I know.  I’m not, however, one of those people that thinks social media is pure evil.  It has its uses, even pockets of joy.  Being ancient like I am, my social media accounts are also old.  They contain pictures I posted…

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I Can’t Drive 55 April 9, 2021

FOR THE RECORD: if one is driving a yellow convertible Camaro, and if Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself For Loving You” comes on the radio, it is physically impossible to drive less than 70 miles per hour.  This is true regardless of the legal speed limit, the street you are on, or if you are…

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Old Lady Duff March 26, 2021

The average life expectancy of an American woman in 1921 was 60.1 years.  Since I am currently 50-point-I don’t want to do the math years old, that means that a mere 100 years ago I would be an old woman, damned near death.  As recently as 1907, I would be OLDER than the average living…

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Just Say Nope March 12, 2021

Every once in a while I stumble upon a product so life changing, I have to write about it.  I promise you, the good folks at Smarta$$ and Sass who sold it to me have not compensated me in any way.[1] It is (insert drumroll) a self-inking stamp that says “Nope.” See? I have given…

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It’s a Grocery Date February 26, 2021

Once upon a time I was a young person and I used to go out on dates.  I even (don’t tell my kids) used to go out on romantic outings with their father. Now, we are 22 years into our marriage and a few weeks shy of a whole year into Coronapocalypse.  We rarely leave…

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Bored February 12, 2021

I can’t remember the last time I was bored.  Bored seems like such a luxury.  It means that there is nothing to clean, your books-to-read pile is done, all your yard work is complete, there are no shows on Netflix to catch up on, you are too sore for a workout, and all the thoughts…

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