Lori Duff Writes
Some other Moms of pubescent girls and I have been talking, and we think we’ve found a solution to our problems that will not only make our lives easier, but possibly make us a metric ton of money. I’m talking about a reality show, Tweenage Drama Island: Where EVERYTHING Is Personal. Imagine this: twenty-five 12…
The other day, my daughter was sad for reasons only truly understood by another 12 year old girl. It was a Saturday, one of the few days in which I had nothing in particular to do, and to celebrate planned on doing laundry and scrubbing the grout in the bathroom. Marin moaned something pitiful and…
Since we all know how hip and happening I am, as evidenced by the fact that all the cool kids refer to themselves as ‘hip’ and ‘happening,’ I would like to bring you news of the latest trend that makes me question, well, everything. Yes, I’m talking about dyed armpit hair. Apparently, women are letting…
I’m not sure when exactly I got old enough to begin every third sentence with “when I was a kid” but seriously, folks, when I was a kid, things were different. I could go on and on about technology, and how I had to type out my college papers on a typewriter and then retype…
Everything old is new again, they say, and just like you can actually find legwarmers for sale, and real live fashionable teenagers wearing them, other 80s things are making a comeback. After we decided that earrings were a no-go for my son’s birthday (click here to read more about that parenting dilemma) he decided he wanted…
My thirteen year old son wants his ears pierced. My sunny little blonde haired blued eyed smiling little boy wants to poke holes in his head and decorate himself. Ok, his hair isn’t clear yellow anymore: it has become a light brown/dirty blonde, and he isn’t little so much as 5’9”, but his eyes are…
THE BILL OF RIGHTS, AS APPLIED TO PARENTS FIRST AMENDMENT:FREE SPEECH The fact that you have given birth to a child, adopted a child, or in some other way claimed a young ‘un for your own in no way shape or form limits your right to free speech. If you spill the pink drink in…
I went to sixth grade orientation last week. My actual sixth grader didn’t go and wasn’t oriented because she was still at camp. I admit that I did a pretty poor job of orienting myself, under the theory that I am not going to have to be able to find the classes, nor will I be able…
My Mom is not that old, considering how old I am and how old her grandchildren are. I won’t tell you how old she is, for fear that she reads this and cuts me out of the will, but suffice it to say that it has not yet been a decade since she threw herself…
There are two basic ways in which brains are wired in the Duff household. One way is the way my son and I think of the universe. Jacob and I? We like the box. We find the walls of the box comforting. We like rules and lists and limits and structure. There are plenty of…