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Articles in category: Women’s issues

Hair Helmet March 6, 2016

I am in desperate need of a haircut. My pin straight hair is too heavy and greasy to have any volume in these dry winter days, and so it clings desperately to my skull and the sides of my face in an effort to make my cheeks look as wide as humanly possible. Sometimes one…

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I. Am. WONDER WOMAN. December 27, 2015

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with Wonder Woman. I even got a fake Wonder Woman tattoo and put it on my tricep. (Still not willing to get a real one.) I loved the Wonder Woman TV show when I was a kid, though to be honest I can’t remember the plot of a single specific episode.…

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Fun House Mirror October 25, 2015

I’m old, but not so old that I am completely afraid of technology. I embrace it, for the most part, for all the things it can do for us, and the ways it can make things easier. One of the best things it can do for me is allow me to keep my big fat…

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Mom Jeans June 13, 2015

I’ve had a longstanding rule at my lake house.  The house, located in the muddy armpit of Lake Oconee, is designed to be an oasis.  Nothing stressful is supposed to happen there.  We have no television access, so you can’t watch the news to find out who was brutally murdered or who was maimed in…

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My Reality Game Show March 22, 2015

Recently, my husband and I have had the 5,263,276th petty squabble of our marriage regarding what exactly happened in some non-event in the recent past.  We argue like this a lot.  “No.  That’s not what she said.”  “No, we had the steak.”  “Um, no, it was the Batman ride at Six Flags that I threw…

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You Can’t Always Get What You Want March 14, 2015

Theoretically, I have standards.  First world standards.  Upper middle class standards beyond that, even.  Not just clean water and delicious, plentiful food, and no military juntas at the door, but beautiful, peaceful living space with useless, but pretty, tasteful décor.  I have fantasies of having the kind of house that makes people walk in and…

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Pinterest February 1, 2015

Pinterest: do you love it or hate it? On the one hand.  I don’t really like Pinterest very much.  It is full of recipe and craft ideas that seem specifically designed to make me feel like a complete and total loser-slash-slacker who has failed her children in every imaginable way.  If all the other women…

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The Death of Southern Gentlemen January 24, 2015

Seven million years ago, when I was learning how to drive, I asked my father how to check the oil in my car.  Checking the oil was something I’d seen him do, and it seemed to me to be an Essential Part of Grown Up Car Ownership and Maintenance.  My father’s answer?  “You pull into…

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Pedicures November 5, 2014

I’m pretty sure there is a zoning ordinance in my area – possibly in the whole state, and possibly in parts beyond – that if you are building a strip mall with more than three store fronts in it, you have to have at least one nail salon and one martial arts studio.  You wouldn’t…

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