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Articles in category: Uncategorized

The Real Toilet Paper Wars February 16, 2018

I am a big fan of indoor plumbing.  I am NOT a fan of indoor plunging.  There is nothing more gag-producing than jamming a wood-and-rubber plunger into a poo filled toilet and slurping it up and down to unclog a septic system.  Especially if the poo in question is not your own.  Seriously, people.  Did…

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Mrs. Potato Head February 2, 2018

I have always looked like I came from Russian peasant stock.  I have a face that looks like it was carved from a potato. My broad shoulders were designed for swinging a pickaxe through Siberian permafrost to get at root vegetables, and my hips are wide enough to bear a whole passel of fat babies. …

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Miss Trunchbull January 19, 2018

About ten years ago, I had eyeball surgery which implanted contact lenses right in front of my retinas.  This allowed me to go glasses free for a long time.  Recently, however, my left eye decided to act up and prevent me from reading street signs in smaller fonts.  So I went to the eye doctor…

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A Night at the Opera January 5, 2018

I get it.  You have some preconceived notion of the Opera being stuffy and boring and something that only rich people do after a diet of caviar and foie gras and a glass full of the desalinated tears of poor people.  If you have any positive associations with it, those associations are related to Bugs…

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Book Review: Life With My Idiot Family December 29, 2017

Life with My Idiot Family: A True Story of Survival, Courage and Justice over Childhood Sexual Abuse If you knew Kathy Picard in high school or junior high, you probably wouldn’t have guessed what was going on in her home. Her report cards speak of a pleasant, hard working girl. She doesn’t get in trouble,…

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Now That It’s Over, I’m Thankful November 25, 2017

I don’t know about you, but I’m mostly just thankful that I survived yet another Thanksgiving.  Just kidding.  Sort of. Holidays can be stressful.  Some of us are spending our first Thanksgiving without a loved one, looking at that empty place at the table and wishing that person were there to annoy the ever-loving crap…

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Three Minutes in Milton November 11, 2017

On Saturday, November 11, 2017, I had the immense privilege of participating in the “Book an Author” event at the Milton Literary Festival.  This was a sort of “speed dating” for books event, in which authors had three minutes to pitch their life’s work to an audience of book buyers.  This is a reasonable approximation…

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Book Review: The Family Fang November 3, 2017

The Family Fang: A Novel “The Family Fang” by Kevin Wilson is one of those books that called out to me from the library shelf. I had never heard of it, or its author, before, and I can’t say exactly what attracted me about it. But I’m glad I picked it up. One complaint I…

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My Box. MINE. October 13, 2017

I’m not really a stuff person, not really.  I mean, I have stuff, too much stuff (mostly books), but I recognize that I don’t have much of anything that couldn’t be replaced with insurance money.  Most of my stuff I’d be better off getting rid of.      In fact, most of my stuff isn’t really…

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Teenager Exchange Program September 29, 2017

In the division of labor in the Duff house, my daughter has what is probably the easiest job – emptying the dishwasher.  It isn’t hard to do, or particularly time consuming.  Rather than thank her lucky stars that she isn’t required to clean around the toilet her brother aims at poorly, she complains that this…

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