Lori Duff Writes
It’s probably wrong on a fundamental level for me to be so insanely jealous of my own child that I kind of hate him a little bit. Jacob, whose friends are clearly of a higher quality than my own, is currently touring Italy and France with a friend of his and her family. I’m not…
Note: This piece won 3rd place in the spring 2017 Fan Story non-fiction essay writing contest. One of the most interesting things about being a parent is how often you find yourself saying things that you never thought you’d say. There are plenty of sentences that have flown out of my mouth using common words with…
Mother Knows Best is a cliché for a reason. On average, given a wide margin of error, the standard deviation and other statistical considerations, I am right approximately 100% of the time. I mean, I’m not right ALWAYS, and not in every context. I’m fallible like any other human. But when it comes to stuff…
My sweet little baby boy is sick. He went to school on Tuesday, and almost immediately called to come home from the nurse’s office. He had a fever of 100.7, which is a number better seen on a radio dial than a thermometer. Four days later his fever is still there, persistent and visible. We…
“Get a Job, Kid!” I can’t count the number of times I’ve said this in response to a sentence that starts “Mooooomm! I waaaaant.” Well, my boy finally took my advice. My boy, who is now so old that if he goes a few days without shaving you can see the stubble on his jawline…
Note: On January 14, 2017, my daughter became a Bat Mitzvah. It is traditional for the mother (me) to give a speech going on and on about how awesome her child is. There were so many ways that my daughter was awesome, I didn’t know how to list them all without being boring. Then it…
Back before the laws of physics were passed and no one wore seat belts because we all believed it would be safer to be ‘flung free,’ my parents owned a big blue Chevy Caprice Station Wagon. My sister and I would fight over who got to sit in the ‘way back’ amongst the groceries and…
If you’ve volunteered at any school or PTO event, you know these parents. They’re the same in every school across the world. Do you recognize them? Marge N. Charge Marge is seriously bossy. She doesn’t care about your agenda. Her agenda is to make this the most successful bake sale in the history of the…
My mild obsession with Wonder Woman is no secret. I drink from a Wonder Woman mug in my office. I have a Wonder Woman watch. I have a Wonder Woman cuff bracelet that may or may not actually deflect bullets. So when I was killing time by wandering around the local Wal-Mart while my daughter…
My son turned 15 a week ago, and that means in this neck of the woods that he got his Learner’s Permit. That’s right. My bitty baby, born two and a half weeks early, smaller by every measurement than my housecat, is now legally allowed to have primary control of a one ton projectile moving…