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Articles in category: Aging

Mrs. Potato Head February 2, 2018

I have always looked like I came from Russian peasant stock.  I have a face that looks like it was carved from a potato. My broad shoulders were designed for swinging a pickaxe through Siberian permafrost to get at root vegetables, and my hips are wide enough to bear a whole passel of fat babies. …

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Oh Ricky You’re So Fine December 8, 2017

I will not deny that I am older than my 47 years might imply.  I’m not particularly young at heart, I’m a soul that belongs in assisted living.  I know this for many reasons, not the least of which was that I went last night, with my good friend Eleni, to see Rick Springfield and…

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I’m 40 Now October 28, 2017

I’m forty now (Ok, forty-six) A decent age I’ve had my fix Of parties, hoo-has, galas, and more Of drunken evenings on the shore   My worries now Have changed in kind I wonder if I’ve lost my mind If you can see my whiskery chin My sagging butt, my wrinkled grin   My weekends…

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Essential Tremor March 19, 2017

March is, as I’m sure you have absolutely no idea, Essential Tremor Awareness Month. Every disease seems to have some kind of celebration these days, some whole months, some weeks, and some days.  Thursday, for example, is, I think, “Infected Hangnail Day” and you should wear something of an angry red color to show solidarity.…

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Sleeping with a CPAP February 19, 2017

I’m now old enough for Home Medical Equipment – specifically, a CPAP machine. Along with age comes wisdom. Also, extra body fat, wiry chin hairs, and an inability to distinguish one pop song from another.  Me, I got an extra bonus – the ability to snore. I snore loudly and dramatically, so I’m told. My…

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Grilled Cheese and Snuggles February 7, 2016

The other day, my daughter was sad for reasons only truly understood by another 12 year old girl.  It was a Saturday, one of the few days in which I had nothing in particular to do, and to celebrate planned on doing laundry and scrubbing the grout in the bathroom. Marin moaned something pitiful and…

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My Funeral January 31, 2016

    Right about the time I graduated from college, my friends started getting engaged.  It got to the point where every week there was either an engagement, a shower, or a wedding.  This was what my social life was: pretending to care when someone unwrapped a Mr. Coffee, elbowing other women wearing uncomfortable dresses…

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I. Am. WONDER WOMAN. December 27, 2015

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with Wonder Woman. I even got a fake Wonder Woman tattoo and put it on my tricep. (Still not willing to get a real one.) I loved the Wonder Woman TV show when I was a kid, though to be honest I can’t remember the plot of a single specific episode.…

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Going To The Doctor September 20, 2015

Because I am not the biggest fan of premature dying, I tend to go to the doctor rather often. My family’s health history is not exactly robust, with very few of us making it past our early 70s, and quite a few dipping out before then. Of course, the generations old enough to be in…

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Camp Grandma July 12, 2015

My Mom is not that old, considering how old I am and how old her grandchildren are. I won’t tell you how old she is, for fear that she reads this and cuts me out of the will, but suffice it to say that it has not yet been a decade since she threw herself…

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